My DeaRest donT wanT m3 aRound

LOLxx~~

Last night everythg was going fine and the my dear came in msn to chat with me~ all was ok i guess~ i just chatted about my problems because he ask me "what was my msn post was about" so i told him about it~ and bla bla bla....... then suddenly out of no where he suddenly scolded me and said me and everyone around me is childish~ and im stupid~ i wasnt gonna argue with him~ but then he comes and say that his car got broken into and stuff was DAMAGED and RUINED. at that moment, i know he valued his car alot~ i mean seriously alot~

i actually been in an accident before.... seeing the car dented, damaged beyond simple repairs.....
i could drop on my knees and cry.... and i did cry~ i cry alone that time~ who was i to argue with him?? he blames for what happen to his car~ it was because of me he went home early, and stayed home.... FOR ME.... BECAUSE OF ME...... i do sometimes think its my fault i guess....

I understand it.... i did the same thing~ i spend my time thinking "what if" .... "what if i hadn't went out that day" "what if i wasn't so rush to get my assignment in"
Heck..... i even try to put the blame on others.... eventhough inside, i know the truth~~

i guess the bottom line is that~ i dun knw if its really my fault or not~ haizz......
now he hates me so much that his not even calling or messaging me~ worst of all is that his out somewhere with someone else that makes him happy... i guess his happy~~
I should be happy that his happy~ I should be glad he'S finding a way to forget his troubles....
Even if its through someone else~ AND hiding it from me~
I Should also be used to his lying habits~ is this MY PUNISHMENT??

THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO FOR HIM AT ALL~~
I'M NOT WITH HIM~~

THE TRUTH IS~ DO I DESERVE THIS BEHIND MY BACK PUNISHMENT?? DO I???